Children no matter what their age may be, can usually think for themselves. This is something that a lot of adults, especially parents, do not seem to understand. They forget their times as children when they could think for themselves, and had their own opinions, etc. and instead try to impose their opinions and ideas and view of the world upon their own children. This is the Number One thing that children hate the most. Being forced to do something they don’t agree with. Some children aren’t mature enough yet, true, but not all children are immature. Quite a number (as I have realized while babysitting everyone’s children during meetings, etc.) can actually think quite well. Some of them are only 4 or 5 but they can tell if something is correct or incorrect. Or whether it is clever or plain stupid. Some more so the the average adult! By age 10 to 12 you can probably expect enough maturity from quite a few of them. Not all, yes, but enough to put full-grown working adults to shame!
Sometimes I wonder to myself, if after the age of 25, people start getting dumber and dumber, and less and less wise, while also getting more and more arrogant about their chronological age. As I have said before in my other article, emotional maturity, mental maturity and wisdom are completely unrelated to chronological or biological age. Wisdom comes from experience, and the ability to process information and experience into useful advice.
So, what do children not appreciate?
It is very simple.
- Overly naggy parents who don’t know the difference between persistence and pure utter nagging.
- Parents who think they know everything simply because they are parents (e.g. “Mother knows best.” or “Mother knows everything.”). Like hell you do. Nobody does. Don’t be so arrogant.
- Parents who don’t have enough faith in their own children and would rather listen to what others say about their children than listen to their children’s side of the story.
- Parents who don’t investigate things properly before coming to a conclusion or making a decision.
- Parents who are gullible enough to believe newspaper articles or emails, or instant messenger messages, simply because supposedly a doctor or some professional wrote it.
- Parents who get their own children to tell white lies for them just so that they can avoid certain people or situations. Whatever happened to all the advice and grooming the very same parents told their children about honesty and not lying because lies pile up and get entangled and eventually get found out?
- Hypocritical parents.
- Parents with double standards.
- Parents who never say sorry or apologize even when they are the ones in the wrong.
- Parents who never look at themselves in the mirror.
- Parents who think they’re always right or that they’re perfect. Perfect people will never improve because what’s there to improve about something that’s already perfect?
- Parents who force their own belief and opinions onto their children or down their children’s throats thinking that that’s the best way to teach them how to live or grow up right. Believe me, it usually has the opposite effect, plus your children will probably become rebellious. They’ll do things behind your backs, and various other things, and you wouldn’t even know it until it’s too late. Using logic and reasoning to reason things out with them nicely is usually the best approach, because they’ll usually be more agreeable as long as you make sense.
- Parents who try to live and fulfill their unfulfilled dreams through their children by making their children do or go into or play something that they liked but their children have no interest in or don’t want to do or go into. Especially when their children know that they aren’t suited for that thing and that their talents and abilities are elsewhere.
- I could go on and on but I believe you can figure out the rest. It’s basically just anything that puts the parent on some pedestal as if they were some perfect deity, or parents who don’t believe in their own children enough to foster their latent abilities.
What do children appreciate?
Again it’s very simple.
- Love
- Compassion
- Acceptance (If parents cannot even accept their own children for who and what they are, then they have no right being parents)
- Support (What kind of parent cannot even support their own children?)
- Fairness (It’s easy for parents to play favorites with their children, but this should not be the case)
- Sensibility
- Reasonable parents
- Non-abusive parents (it doesn’t matter if it’s physical, verbal, or whatever, abuse and violence are abuse and violence)
- Parents who don’t call them names
- Parents who don’t look down on them
- Parents who don’t run them down
- Among many other virtues.
That’s what children appreciate and don’t appreciate.
That’s all I have to say for now. I hope parents and future parents managed to learn something from this.
Posted 18 February 2023
Last updated for missing details 7 March 2023
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